Those of you who have three kids, four kids, FIVE+ kids...this post will make you chuckle at my weakness, but bear with me and know that I respect the crap out of you, you are much, much stronger than I am.
Granted, when Bubby was brand new, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be attempting it again, but here we are...
So I guess at some point during the child rearing process you start to get cocky, you're kid has got a couple years under his belt, feeling good, confident. You've kept him fed, alive, happy...he's still smiling. You know what you're doing...
How much harder can two kids be?
Turns out, being the mother of one is relatively easy. But then again everything is always easy in hindsight. We are designed to remember the good and forget the bad, it's how we survive. (Also probably how some of you have ended up at kid #5 I'm guessing)
But, at the time...you've just had your first baby, you are pretty convinced no one has ever worked harder, cried more, showered less, lost more sleep or had more feces on them than you have. Your baby is by far the hardest baby of all the babies. (What's that? You have no idea what I am talking about? Your little blessing was an angel from the moment he or she tore out of your womb? Oh, how nice, I am so happ...y...for...you... oh, just get out.)
Little by little it becomes less difficult and you decide to go for it, they'll basically take care of each other, right? It's a fleeting and moronic thought, but one of many that ultimately leads you to the conclusion that baby #2 seems like a pretty good idea. And then, just when your body was almost back, (at least mildly resembling your pre-baby body...ok, your pre-baby body's slightly less attractive cousin, but still pretty doable) all that goes up in smoke, and your already stretched out skin, is once again put to the test...baby is on his way. It's all good...number two is easy, right? You got this.
Nope. Wrong. It does not matter how many kids you have, babies are never easy!
Because guess what, they are all completely different! Each kid insists on having their own little personality. God must have been super cheesed at us when he designed children, because with every ounce of strength in those tiny little bodies...they are trying to kill us. And now... (gulp) they have reinforcements. It's two against one. (Except when Daddy is home, then I get to win every once in a while)
At some point during every single day...the world as I know it disintegrates into chaos... I have forgotten to feed something, whether it be cat, dog or first born. Someone somewhere is going hungry. Someone has had pooh in their pants for way too long or is quietly somewhere dismantling a laptop. Up all night with one, up all day with the other...(sob) and while I am really not one to complain (I swear I am not) the differences between one and two are really quite staggering... Bubby's delivery was a breeze, Bear destroyed me, Bubby was sleeping through the night at 3 months of age and two days of sleep training, Bear has yet to sleep through the night, after months of rigid scheduling, countless tears, and every trick in my arsenal. Bubby was tough and never cried, Bear is sensitive and emotional and rips my heart out on a daily basis....
So, while at the time Bubby seemed to be more than I could handle, Bear is so...much...more...work.
But lucky for you Bear, I am much tougher than I used to be.
I guess THAT'S how you get to baby #5. With each child, you get a little stronger, a little wiser and A LOT better at functioning on 3 hours of sleep. (But seriously Bear, It is time to sleep through the night...enough already)
So I'll be here trying not to stress about the messy house, the inordinate amount of toast Bubby eats or the fact that there are days when mommy just can't and I am very grateful to Netflix that the next episode comes on automatically. I'll try not to stress about whether Bear is reaching his milestones or if I spend as much time with him as I did Bubby, if he's eating enough, pooping enough, sleeping enough and all the millions of worries that go through a mother's mind on a daily basis.
Yes, I will endeavor to enjoy this time and look forward to days ahead when things are a little less hectic when mommy gets a break... a time when I can finally.....get...them... back! (Muahahaha, seriously this thought sustains me way more than is healthy)
For now, I am surviving...living on coffee, naps and a whole lot of love. And like they all say, the days are long, but the years are short. And one day I will look back and miss these crazy days. (eye roll) So, I am doing my best to focus on the good and enjoy these two little boys, because when all is said and done, they truly are the best little human beings. And despite this rant of a post...I'd be lost without my Bubby and my Bear.